ways to annoy people

yeah, yeah i know all my last post have been all joke and funny stuff, nothing about my life or anything, but i rekon the world would be a better place if there was more laughter.. anyways here are 20 ways to annoy people


1.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
3.Speak only in a "robot" voice.
4.Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
5.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
6.Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 7.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
8.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
9.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
10.Drum on every available surface.
11.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
12.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
13.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
14.Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
15.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
16.Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
17.Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
18.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
19.Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
20.nvite lots of people to other people's parties.

More Funny Jokes

Stairs:

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"

Blonde Jokes

Now im sorry to all the blondes out there but, blonde jokes are just the best, so heres a few

Blonde paint job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do."Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money."You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."



Only three doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"


I knew a blonde that:

* she called me to get my phone number.*
she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.*
she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.*
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Fun stuffs to do

Feeling bored while your parent, partner or sister are shopping and your bored out of your mind!! here's some fun pranks to pull:

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares. and see what happens.
5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay buy
6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the beddingdepartment.
8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
14 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"